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Writer's pictureGreg Barlin

The Guncle

by Steven Rowley ★★★★

cover art for In the Lives of Puppets

I had seen The Guncle praised in book lovers' circles, most often cited as one of the funniest books people had read in the last year. And it is quite funny, but it also carries a pretty hefty emotional weight to pair with that humor.


Patrick O'Hara is the titular "guncle", or "gay uncle", to his niece Maisie (age 9) and her brother Grant (age 6). When their mother dies of cancer, and their father (Patrick's brother Greg) checks himself into rehab, Greg asks Patrick to care for the kids for the summer. Against the protests of their older sister Clara, who believes she is best suited to care for them, Patrick agrees to his brother's ask and uproots the children from Connecticut to his home in Palm Springs.


Patrick rose to fame as an actor on an ensemble series (think something akin to Friends), so he's financially in a place where he has the availability to make "guncling" his full-time job. Living on the other side of the country, he's had limited exposure to Maisie and Grant before the summer -- or to any kids, for that matter. As he puts it, he "believe(s) in treating kids like people", so makes no effort initially to change his approach to conversation. That means the kids are inundated with Patrick's witty banter, Oscar Wilde quotes, old movie references, and lines from Broadway shows. For example, when they go out for brunch, he asks them "What sounds good? Pancakes? Waffles? Lobster thermidor?" As you might imagine, his questions are often met with blank stares. Pair that with some authentically rendered kids (and kid conversation), and there are plenty of laugh out loud (or at least chuckle out loud) moments throughout.


But there is also an emotional weight to the book. For starters, we have one dead parent, and another in rehab. That's a lot for kids under ten to process, and Patrick's inexperience with communicating with children leaves him lacking a key tool in his quest to help them on their journey of emotional healing. Furthermore, there is plenty of baggage that Patrick carries as well. Not only was Maisie and Grant's mom, Sara, his sister-in-law; she was also his best friend and former roommate, so there is an extra level of loss for Patrick. Lastly, he is dealing with his own unprocessed grief. Four years prior, his boyfriend and love of his life was killed in a car crash. All of this results in a trio of characters who are trying to put on a happy face through the hurt, but who all harbor deep emotional scars that are far from being healed.


There are some manufactured minor conflicts throughout -- with Patrick's sister Clara, with his agent, and with a natural disaster -- but they are more distraction than anything noteworthy. The true antagonist of the novel is the characters' grief, and that under-the-surface pain comes out gradually over the course of the novel. This is a story about character evolution, and how Patrick helps the children heal while they help him process his own sadness. That adds an emotional depth to what could have been a comedic beach read, and does so mostly to the benefit of the novel. The humor keeps things from getting too heavy, but the pain of loss gives the characters plenty of room to grow and evolve over the novel, beyond just the standard "awkward uncle learns to love and communicate with his niece and nephew".


As anyone who has dealt with significant loss knows, the weight of that missing loved one creeps up at unexpected times. The book progresses in a similar way, where things are mostly fine...until they aren't. Author Rowley does a nice job maintaining that delicate balance in the tenor of the book. It's funny and at times heartwarming, and in fewer places quite sad. It all melds together to create a strong 4-star read for me.

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