Meredith, Alone

by Claire Alexander ★★★★☆

Meredith Maggs hasn't left her home in 1,214 days. She suffers from crippling agoraphobia, but she's carved out a life that allows her to function. Home grocery delivery keeps her fed, her cat Fred provides love and companionship, and running up and down her stairs provides enough cardio training that she can stay moderately fit. She has a job as a writer, allowing her to continue to earn an income despite her self-imposed isolation. Her one and only friend Sadie, Meredith's best friend since she was a girl, checks in on her periodically, but she has almost no interaction with anyone else.

And so her days pass, and we get to know Meredith in bits and pieces. Her love of puzzles keeps her entertained, and the internet plus an abundance of time and determined trials have made her into a world-class cook and baker. Author Claire Alexander uses flashbacks across Meredith's life to gradually reveal some of the events that led to her self-exile from the world, and our picture of Meredith expands beyond the walls of her home. We learn of her challenged childhood, in which her father left before she could remember him, and her abusive mother left her clinging to her sister, Fiona, as her island of stability in a life bereft of love. We also learn about the events that led to Meredith's fractured relationship with Fiona and what finally pushed her agoraphobia to its current point.

We also see Meredith's circle of human interaction slowly expand as she chips away at her internal struggles. Tom, an unflappably friendly volunteer from a befriending charity that reaches out to isolated individuals, begins to make regular visits. In a chat room she frequents, Meredith meets Celeste, a woman who becomes her friend online and eventually someone she meets in real life. Slowly, Meredith's support network starts to expand, and through these friendships and counseling she begins to emerge from her cocoon of isolation.

This is a well-written novel, but it's not a happy one, and so it falls into that strange review purgatory where I appreciated the care Alexander took with the characters and Meredith's condition, but it's not likely a book I'd ever recommend. The themes are dark, and abuse in all forms—physical, emotional, psychological, sexual—is constantly present. I wanted some reward at the end, a light at the end of the tunnel, and while things move in a more positive direction, it's with baby steps. Meredith, Alone is depressing until nearly the final page. If you read A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara and thought, "I wish I could find another book like that," this might check that box, albeit on a milder scale. Go in eyes wide open, and if you're looking for a book that will put a smile on your face, choose something different.

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Quick Facts

• Title: Meredith, Alone

• Author: Claire Alexander

• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

• Release Date: November 1, 2022

• Format: Audiobook

• ISBN-13: 978-1538709962

• Pages: 370